2024 has been a weird year for me in regard to my game development goals.

I started off the year strong, putting a ton of time into development of my current unannounced game. I formed a LLC, commissioned some artwork, and worked with lawyers towards trademarks and a privacy policy for my company.

But for some reason after forming the LLC I lost all motivation. The self-doubt about my game, and about the dream of creating games in general, really hit hard after I put some money into it. It felt childish, like a waste. Like I could be doing more important things.

It’s been about 6 months since then. I worked on a separate project (a budgeting tool to replace Mint for my personal use). I helped family through some rough times. I focused hard on my day job and started accumulating large amounts of stress. I played some video games, listened to some audio books, and watched some movies.

All through that time I’ve struggled with two contradictory sets of negative emotions around game dev – the guilt over it feeling childish, but also the pain of a lifelong dream slipping away.

Recently I’ve been focusing more on my health – sleep, exercise, diet. I’m starting to feel a lot better, and I’m warming back up to game dev again. Because at the end of the day, I can’t control the world. Who cares if my dream is “childish,” because being a grown-up sucks anyways. I work hard at my day job, and it is ok if I want to spend my free time creating silly little worlds.

And really, it doesn’t matter if I wasted some money or if my games never get released. What matters is that my family is taken care of (they are) and that I can find some enjoyment for myself along the way, without beating myself down.

Progress > Perfection